Saying the unsayable? « the headspace collective

joncoe

11:31:13 am on May 1, 2008 | # |

This is (one of) the recurrent question(s) of a society which, like it or not, is moving towards a postmodern way of thinking. What is? No not that. Rather, how can every point of view be acceptable, and equally valid, when some assert the suppression of others?

This blog is getting a bit more popular. For those of you interested in numbers, we had 860 hits in April. Probably not by 860 different people, but it’s impressive nonetheless. Well, I think so. So now might be a reasonable time to ask ourselves whether some opinions are not acceptable; whether some things cannot be said.

We do have the same problem in actual Headspace meetings, but the internet does present different problems. Or perhaps they’re much the same, just to a different extent online. A problem with the internet, blogging and posting and so forth is the relative anonymity of it. You (and when I say ‘you’, I do of course mean ‘one’) can say anything, and there it is for anyone who cares to read it to see. Who cares about the consequences? Secondly, it’s not a conventional conversation. You can say what you like and you can’t be interrupted. You can’t be asked to clarify mid-flow. You can just keep going for as long as you like, and only then can people respond. Often in kind – if they don’t agree or if they find it offensive, their response can just as easily be offensive to the recipient.

So what can’t we say? Is there anything we can’t say?

Well, it’s not my place to make up any rules. Obviously. But how about a suggestion or two, simply because I’ve read so many message boards and blogs and such like which end up becoming slanging matches – generally between the few most vocal commentators.

Firstly don’t expect everyone to agree with you. When you say something, people have a right to reply. Even if they’re wrong. Especially when you’re wrong. Be controversial, but always be prepared to back up what you say. And accept the possibility that you may be wrong. Think about what others have actually said, and try to understand where they’re coming from. Imagine you’re actually saying it to actual people. You are. Say what you want here, but don’t necessarily assume that it’ll be left for everyone to read if it is truly offensive. (Although that does raise the question of who decides…)

Language is a wonderful thing, but it is limited – there are ambiguities and there is confusion, as we all have at least slightly different understandings of the world we find ourselves in and the symbols we use to represent it. And much as I love language I think it would be fair to say that miscommunication – in fact language itself – has surely been an essential component of all atrocities, war and oppression that humans have ever carried out. Nothing more than small scale violence would be possible without such an advanced form of communication.

So does that mean we should rid ourselves of language? Or should we try to communicate a little better?